Ain't casting stones, but how 'bout casting a little grattitude!

Author’s Note:  Hello friends . . . while I know I don’t need to do this, and some would say I shouldn’t, I feel the need to give a quick disclaimer.  This post has nothing to do with religion nor is it a criticism or indictment of any one group or organizations religious beliefs.  Here at NADFB we adhere to a strict “no politics / no religion” policy.  It is simply a criticism of another media/themed entertainment company’s perceived lack of professional etiquette.  Now, if you’ll please bow your heads with me . . .”

          There seems to be a lot of debate among Disney-themed podcasters and bloggers (and authors & publishers it turns out . . . ahem) about how much one should criticize the Disney Company.  Some of them will come out all guns a blazin’ blowing holes in anything Disney does that clashes with their own personal preferences.  Others dare not ever speak a critical word toward the mouse or the actions of thereof.

Personally, I tend to take the middle road, although I like to belief I’m much closer to the prudent than the loudmouthed fanboys who decry everything (my favorites being the ones who claim NOT to be fanboys as they clearly don’t understand the definition.)  However from time to time, I will give an honest, although respectful opinion even if it’s not in favor of the current directions.  More often than not, my philosophy is “trust Imagineering.”  And to that end, trust Disney management.  Are they perfect?  No, but they’ve certainly been right far more than they’ve been wrong.

When I am critical at all, it’s usually in the company of like-minded Disney lovers.  I will rarely speak any “ill” in the company of non-believers.  Nor will I accept any anti-mouse chatter from them.  It’s like the old saying “I can say whatever I want about my family, but you better not dare.” 

I am very protective of my beloved Disney.  I know, that’s cute.  They don’t know I exist.  They’re a bazillion dollar corporation (yeah, that’s right... bazillion) and I’m protective of them.  But it’s true, none-the-less.  I won’t suffer any smack talk, especially from someone clearly ignorant about that which they speak.  That’s also why I tend to get riled up when I see what I interpret as disrespect of “my” company. 

This is why I found myself getting really irritated by something seemingly small late last night.  I was flipping channels and I saw on the guide something called “Night of Joy 2012” on TBN.  TBN is The Trinity Broadcasting Network, an evangelical basic cable channel.  Night of Joy, as most Walt Disney World fans know is a huge contemporary Christian music festival held in the Magic Kingdom each year.  It’s hard for some to imagine what with all the potty words I use, but there was time I was deeply ensconced (note to self: look up the word “ensconced” before posting) in the world of Christian music.  I must confess I didn’t know a single name in the line-up listed on the cable guide but I made a stop on the channel anyway.  After all, anything featuring the Magic Kingdom or Walt Disney World automatically gains my attention.  

But there’s the rub!  I said “featuring” Magic Kingdom.  Boy oh boy, was I wrong.  While the bands were performing on the castle stage right in front of the unmistakable, universally recognizable Cinderella Castle of the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World, if you closed your eyes (or I suppose are blind) you’d never know that’s where it was taking place.  See between performances they had two “personalities” discussing the acts with far more enthusiasm than necessary, one of who seemed like he was doing an impression of Cam from Modern Family.  In fact, I thought he actually was Eric Stonestreet in character, right down to his flamboyant shirt (what I’m saying his shirt wasn’t the only thing that was flamboyant!)  

 

Eric "Cam" Stonestreet

 

TBN's Nick Kroger         

           The more I watched and listened to these two excitedly regurgitate what was on the prompters in front of them, the more something became glaringly clear.  They never once said where they were.  Now the experienced eye would see right away they were on the Tomorrowland Terrace, the same patio area one can rent out for a Wishes fireworks dessert party.

They kept repeating “you have to come down here next year to see this show!”  “Talk to your family, talk to your church, bring your youth group here next year.” 

I know this may sound like the ranting of a Disney-obsessed lunatic.  Well . . . guilty as charged, but I’m telling you now it seemed so apparent that they were going out of their way NOT to say they were in Walt Disney World that it actually started to make me angry.  Perhaps I am a little oversensitive.  After all, I was raised in an Evangelical environment at a time when many prominent church leaders were commanding their flocks to “boycott Disney for their glorification of dragons, witches, black magic, and demons.”  And now they’re hosting a nationally recognized Christian music festival, allowing some miniscule satellite network with a clear agenda to come into the parks and broadcast, and these ingrates can’t even utter the name of the park?!? 

Then it dawned on me.  TBN, the same organization that gave the world Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker, is not just a global media outreach, it is also the newest owner of rival theme park (I use the term loosely) in Orlando, The Holy Land Experience.  I’m not ripping the Holy Land, in fact I think in theory it’s a great idea and done right could have been a huge success.  But calling it a rival to Disney is like calling a chipmunk the rival of the mastodon.  So when that mastodon raises its tusks and lets you in to grab a few acorns, be appreciative.  

 

"Where do we get Fast Passes for The Garden of Gethsemane?"

Do I still sound crazy, and a bit Disney-paranoid?  Well explain why the only time the words “Walt Disney World” came into play in any moment of the program that I saw, the tape literally sped up as the end titles said “from Walt Disney World” so that it only hovered on screen for a split-second before vanishing once again.  Even the logo for the concert, which was the neck of guitar, the top of which was shaped to resemble the castle came across the screen in the blink of an eye.  As soon as it was gone, the TBN logo appeared where it stayed, stagnant on screen for what seemed an eternity.  One could not only read it, you could crawl out of bed, grab paper and crayons, and trace it for yourself! 

As the show ended, the two hosts repeatedly thanked TBN for broadcasting the concert, and for reaching out to the world.  They must have said “special thanks to TBN” at least a half-dozen time in the span of 2 – 3 minutes.  The “thanks to Walt Disney World for hosting this concert” count?  Zero-point-zero! 

 

Here's the full logo, with the castle guitar . . . the one only Hummingbirds could see!  

What does it matter to me?  I guess it shouldn’t.  In the interest of full-disclosure, I only watched the last 20 minutes or so.  Perhaps in the opening they lathered Walt Disney World with praise and adulations, flashing the words “Come to the Magic Kingdom” across the screen over and over.  I doubt it, but maybe.  I just found it irritating and distasteful.  I’ve never been to their park, but I have a dozen ideas that could increase attendance and revenues – you know, the two factors that keep a theme park in business.  This broadcast was simply one more reason I’ll likely never bother checking it out.  That and the fact there’s nothing to do there aside from walk through some show sets, see replicas of ancient artifacts, and watch live TBN broadcast tapings.  Oh, and stop by the food court!  Heck even that museum in Kentucky has animatronic raptors in the Garden of Eden!  Whether it’s scientifically accurate or not is not for me to judge – but it sure sounds rad!!!     

If I were Bob Iger the first thing I’d do is give TBN a lifetime ban from ever broadcasting on Disney property again.  Well, that’s not true.  If I were Iger, the first thing I’d do is build a Lady & the Tramp dark ride in Fantasyland, a Jungle Book themed flume at the Animal Kingdom, restore Imagination to it’s original glory, and rebuild Horizons brick by brick!  But then . . . watch out TBN! 

 

Should I get my knickers in a twist over it?  No.  But it’s a slow news day and this has been gnawing at my brain for two days.  All I’m saying, if you hope to be David among Goliaths, give credit where it’s due!  Especially when there are probably thousands of people who are only watching your network at that moment because of where you are. 

This is a picture of actress Jennifer Lawrence.  She has nothing to do with any of this.  But when you search "night of joy hosts" in Google Images, this is a choice.  And I love her.

    

Tell 'Em Bamba Sent Ya!

For many of us, getting down to Walt Disney World or over to Disneyland is no easy, or cheap, proposition.  Most of us have full-time jobs and families that require 101% of our time, resources, and income.  In the interim time between Disney trips, we are forced to find reasonable substitutes.  Of course we know there’s nothing that ever feels the same, but if you’re lucky, you find an oasis or two that come very close to replicating the feelings and emotions of being surrounded by Disney magic. 

If you’re really lucky, that oasis serves food too!

For me, that respite is Rainforest Café.  

I know, I’ve heard from a few people who immediately say “that touristy place?!?”  Well, yes, I suppose.  From the early days when Steve Schussler founded RFC, he was brilliant enough to know that a concept like that was likely to have a higher survival rate in a highly-tourist-populated area.  Hence the first Rainforest Café being established in The Mall of America up der in Minnesota, hey?  

 

Now I take issue with anyone who immediately implies or assumes a themed restaurant is somehow bad or unworthy.  Although I suppose a great many of said restaurants are to blame.  A certain chain involving cardboard & ketchup pizzas and another over-sized singing mouse comes to mind!  Strip the theme completely, and I’ve never had a bad meal at a Rainforest Café.  And you may have noticed I know a thing or two about eating!  I’ll go on record that the Blue Mountain Chicken Sandwich at RFC is the best chicken sandwich I’ve ever eaten in my life.  I find it very hard to deviate and order anything different. Though I have plenty of times.  The coconut shrimp rock.  The ribs, sorry “Mojo bones” are excellent.   

And since we’re all grown-ups (or at least grown-“olders”) here, let’s talk about the bar menu!  I love me a good margarita sirs!  Rocks, never blended, and no salt, por favor and any skilled “Navigator” (that’s RFC lingo for bartender) can mix-up a good one.  But if it’s a taste of the exotic you seek, and why shouldn’t you, order Rainforest’s Green Python! 

    < =Gross!

<= Delicious!

Like Indiana Jones, I hate snakes.  But this particular beverage is one serpent I find quite charming!  Rum, Midori, banana liquor, sweet & sour, and pineapple juice; I can’t believe Jimmy Buffett hasn’t written an anthem about it yet! 

 I must say too that in the past when someone has said to me “the food’s not good” I’ve retorted with, when was the last time you ate there?  In every case it was usually, “I don’t know, a long time ago.”  While every restaurant has better days and worse, I’ve found RFC has taken giant steps forward in quality and consistency since Landry’s Restaurant group bought the concept and took over operations in 2000.  I always respond to those people the same way.  “Try it again.  Trust me.” 

 

Read Steve's book It's a Jungle In There!

That’s no knock against Steven Schussler and the company he created.  Schussler is an amazing entrepreneur and crazy dreamer and built RFC from a concept in his house (literally, right down to a live baboon and waterfall in his living room) to the amazing restaurants we saw popping up all over the country in the late-90’s.  He’s a visionary and a risk-taker who believes in making something amazing that will blow guests away.  Sound like someone else? 

There’s no mystery why Rainforest Café is immediately associated with the Disney Parks in my mind, or so many others’.  From the detailed theme, to the animatronics, to the actual smells of the gift shops and dining rooms (yes, I stand by my belief that Rainforest Cafes have the “Disney smell”) to creating roles for the employees to play.  Your server isn’t your waiter; they are your Safari Guide.  The hosts and hostesses are your Tour Guides.  The kitchen staffers are called Trailblazers. 

 

My home RFC! 

My family and I frequent our local Rainforest and a large mall in Schaumburg, IL and on multiple occasions we’ve been served by a Safari Guide named Johnny.  Now I don’t know the guy personally, but I’ve been compelled to contact the company multiple times to praise him for the job he’s doing.  I worked in the restaurant business for a few years out of college.  I waited tables, tended bar, and quickly found myself training new hires, preparing them for what restaurant work is really like.  Even in your average I Can’t Believe Its Tuesday’s it gets so hectic some nights you want to run out screaming.  I can’t imagine the distractions, the pressures, and hurdles to be leapt gracefully in such a high-flow, intensive, interactive environment.  Yet this Johnny pulls it off every time without ever letting his guests see him sweat.  I believe it’s due to one simple thing – he buys into the concept 100%.  He is a Safari Guide.  No, he’s not role-playing, but you can see he gets it.  Rainforest Café doesn’t just serve food, they serve entertainment.  They deliver an experience.  Every meal there must be something special.  Just like the best Disney Cast Members do.       

That is also why Rainforest Café was such a perfect fit at the Disney parks.  There’s a beautiful two-story RFC in Downtown Disney at Disneyland in California.   

This was the first location I took my son when he was just two.  And yes, it’s another reason I’m so connected to the company.  There’s one at Disneyland Paris.  And there are actually two Rainforest locations on the Walt Disney World property in Florida.  One, appropriately so is located inside Disney’s Animal Kingdom (I think it would be a bigger mystery if there wasn’t one there!)  My favorite however is the location in Downtown Disney-Orlando.  It’s so big there’s even a volcano sprouting from the roof.  No, if you know the menu not the dessert!  Although, that would rule!  

  

I don't know where I'm a gonna go when the volcano blow!

And Schussler Creative and Landry’s did it again in 2008 with the opening of a brand new sister-concept to Rainforest Café.  Well, if that sister was created from fossilized mosquito blood extracted from amber, mixed with a little frog DNA, and hatched from an ostrich egg into a colossal goat munching super-predator . . . but I digress.    

 

"I have an idea for a restaurant!"  

T-Rex Café was founded in 2006 with its first location in Kansas City.  Two years later it found its next natural home at Walt Disney World.  Life Rainforest, T-Rex features life-size animatronic dinosaurs, special effects, themed dining rooms, and of course a large merchandise area.  It’s also home to the special hybrid of the popular Build-A-Bear stores, Build-A-Dino!  Come on, you can try to roll your eyes all you want, but that’s pretty cool!    

  

Seriously, the outside looks like a nightclub in Bedrock complete with the complete skeleton of a brachiosaurus (or some other sauropod . . . geek check) stretching its neck over the entrance.  

As soon as you walk in you are greeted by a life-sized mama T-Rex and her pups!  I wouldn’t say you’re just there to look around - she doesn’t like it!  Just kidding.  The restaurant is sprawling and inhabited with all sorts of dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures, from the giant octopus guarding the bar to the wooly mammoth perched above the glacial Ice Cave room.  Yes Bill Nye Science Guy, I realize mammoths and dinosaurs never would have . . . you know what?  Shut it!   

 

The Ice Cave, I should add uses one of the coolest lighting effects I’ve ever seen in a restaurant.  It’s like dining in Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.  And just like Rainforest Café, the food is good.  The menus are admittedly similar, but if it ain’t broke, as they say.  My last visit I had the Boneyard, a large platter of ribs and roasted chicken.  The name was fitting by the end of dinner, as it was nothing but a pile of bones, cleaned right down to the white.  I was the apex predator that night, my friends!  My buddy Joe had the Gigantosaurus burger – a loaded double-cheeseburger so big you should lift it with your legs, not your back!  And we kicked the night off with their mountainous Colosso nachos!  Fair to say our end of the table was definitely man cave Heaven!  Fear not, the wives got salads and split a pasta and fish entrée (you know, “lady food”) and were very happy with their meals too!     

Listen I’m no yokel who falls for the lights and spectacle (and robots) of every themed restaurant that pops up.  See my earlier post where I skewered another eatery on Disney property; the Celestial Sphere of the City Where Movies Used to be Made!  And no, I’m not on the Landry’s payroll (although I’d be happy to be . . . *winks*)!  I tell it like it is here, and Rainforest Café (and T-Rex Café) is a great experience not to be passed up, whether it’s in Chicago, Kansas City, or Downtown Disney.  It’s an enhanced family dining experience, wonderful on its own, but even more special to us Disney fans!  Don’t overlook it in favor of some celebrity chef name or trendy hotspot of the moment.  Go have a great meal at Rainforest Cafe, and throw a couple ducats to the crocodile while you're at it!  

    

Oh . . . and trust me on the smell!