It's almost 90 degrees and sunny here in the outskirts of the CHI! Got me in a summer kind of mood. And that's get me thinking of that "frozen concoction that helps me hang on . . . hang on . . . hang on!"
Okay, so truth be told I like my margaritas on rocks, but that wouldn't work with the song. Plus, I haven't wanted a snow cone since I was 7, why would I want one when I'm drinking?
But in that Margaritaville spirit, I thought I'd share something with you. I've torn a page right out of my upcoming book. Como se dice . . . sneak preview?
Let's take a quick trip down to the land of the Mayans, Disney-style, and raise a glass in hopes to forestall the end of the world . . . !
Inside the giant temple facade you
will find yourself in a quaint little Mexican plaza right out of a Zorro movie
(or the Three Amigos.) Well, eventually
you will. When you first walk-in out of
the Florida
sun, the place is so dark you will experience what I can only relate to as
hysterical blindness. Especially because
no matter what time you enter the Mexico pavilion, it always night
time inside, due to some effects lighting and the night sky ceiling. The instant transition will have you seeing
bright color blotches flash before your eyes before you can even focus on the
first piñata. It really has a fiesta
atmosphere. There are banners, lanterns,
and piñatas hanging all around, and senoritas in festive dresses.
I could stay in there for
days. Especially now that they have
opened the spot I was specifically there to see, La Cava del Tequila. That means the “the tequila cave” although
something tells me the word tequila always translates even if
your 8th grade Espanol is un poco rusty!
La Cave del Tequila is very cozy,
dimly lit bar hidden away inside the Mexico pavilion. It’s really the kind of place you’d like to
gather in the corner with a group of buddies, drinking and laughing about past
adventures all night long. The problem
is, after dos margaritas, you’d have to shut down the party early
because you’d be all out of pesos! La
Cava boasts some really tasty and unique margaritas, but they also boast a
price tag of $12.50 a piece. You read
that right, over $12 bucks, U.S.,
for UNO margarita.
Man’s
Journal:
“I walked in to La Cava del Tequila like
Bogey sauntering into the cantina looking for a score in Sierra Madre. I immediately loved the atmosphere. It was the kind of place an expatriate could
get lost over a bottle of tequila for a few days. I’d been told this was the right watering
hole for a good cocktail at Epcot. The
Blood Orange Margarita came particularly recommended. Unfortunately, they didn’t tell me you need a
line of credit to order one. Paying
nearly $13 bucks for one drink was not really on my bucket list, but I knew I’d
come for a reason. This was a fact-finding
mission. This was research and I needed
to gather info for my readers. So I had
no choice. I’d have to pay the grossly
inflated fee to faithfully report on the agave-squeezed libations they were
concocting.
The bartender set down an opaque plastic
cup in front of me with an orange-ish-red beverage inside, topped with pinkish
foam. That’s already too many “ishes”
for my usual Friday night cocktail.
And
there were red crystals encrusting the rim of the glass, which quickly began to
melt and looked like the cup itself was bleeding. Cute parlor trip, although by time I’d finish
the drink, my hand was so sticky I could’ve scaled a wall like Spiderman.
I will say this, the drink was pretty
tasty. If I were sitting on the patio on
a summer evening, I could happily put away one or two or a half-dozen of
these. And yes, it was premium
liquor. Triple Sec, premium silver
tequila, blood orange puree, hibiscus syrup, the tear of a mermaid . . . I
don’t care. Doesn’t change the fact that
it’s too expensive for one drink. I
know, I know. I’ve been harping
throughout this whole book about not obsessing over the prices. But even I have my limits. If it came in one of those fishbowl sized
margarita glasses you get at the average Chi-Chi’s, I’d understand. But I can’t say, as much as I loved the atmosphere
at La Cava, I’ll be spending a lot of
time there.”
The main draw of Mexico is San
Angel Inn, the “outdoor” restaurant situated right on the river, in the shadow
of an active volcano. If you're looking
for just a simple plate of tacos or a Fiesta Con-queso Snack Wrapper or
whatever 99 cent fast-food Mexican't you're used to at home, this is not the
place for you. In fact, I'm afraid I
can't tell you where the nearest Taco Hell is.
But if you want a delicious, authentic Mexican dinner make an ADR. Some of the items will definitely seem
foreign (no joke intended) but don't worry about it. I'll tell you what you what. Order the filete motuleno.
I have eaten there multiple times and the
food has always been excellent. The
atmosphere is like something out of a dream; an idealized Mexican city
square. The one complaint I've almost
always had and you probably will as well is the service. That exemplary guest-service Disney is famous
for seems to get lost somewhere on the temple steps. The employees (this is the only place on WDW
property that I won't buy into the Cast Member title because they clearly don't
either) have never shown any urgency to help or serve in any capacity any time
I've gone there . . .
. . . For some reason I tend to forgive
it there because I like the food and the setting, and because I'm on vacation
anyway and what's the hurry, right? I
just kind of wish the people who are supposed to be helping didn't have the same
attitude.
. . .
Don't forget about The Gran Fiesta Tour, which replaced the tired El Rio del Tiempo in 2007! I remember floating through the dusty Mexican street sets and seeing the grainy footage of cliff-divers and decorated donkeys back in the 80's and expecting to find kids selling Chicklets at the end! It seemed old even when it was new. Thankfully it was completely overhauled with new footage and sets to be more entertaining. While pretty much a kids ride now, it is a nice little cruise
through dimly lit air-conditioned version of Mexico featuring The Three Caballeros;
Donald Duck, Jose Carioca the parrot
(who is apparently Brazilian actually, but let's not argue over semantics
here), and a pistol packing' Mexican rooster aptly named Panchito
Pistoles. They run, swim, and fly throughout Mexico searching for a mischievous Donald, singing and laughing all the way.
Listen, I could tell you it featured Brooklyn Decker, G. Gordon Liddy, and Richard Simmons and it wouldn't
matter. The real reason I bring it up is it's
a great way to keep the family entertained while you lean back, let dinner
settle, and catch a combat nap. Who said
Disney vacations aren't restful?
I'm kidding. You'll actually find it as fun as the kids, and you'll probably be pointing out Donald faster than they will!
. . .
The inside of the Mexico pavilion
can get a little crowded especially in busier months, so if you don't want to
deal with elbow-to-elbow tourists (what man does?) you can always make a quick stop at the
cantina outside of the temple. Cantina
de San Angel is an outdoor counter service location where you can grab that plate
of tacos (still no Cheesy Crunchy Gordito Con Pantolones or whatever) as well
as a margarita! This spot used to be a
great place to grab an outdoor table an hour or two before Illuminations began, and take turns guarding it like churro-chomping hawks
until show time. It’s not as ideal as it
once was due to the reposition of the dining courtyard, but if you’re on the
end closest to the water, you’ll still have a pretty good view.
So there you have it . . . just a little sticky sweet taste of things to come. Now go on! It's 5:00 o'clock somewhere . . . throw some booze in the blender. Here's a little song to help you get your fiesta on!
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