Love Me Some Food (& Wine!)

This is a few months late, but as I sit here in the wilds of Chicagoland wondering what to make the short humans in the house for lunch, I'm thinking of warmer climates and better dining options. So what better time to post my thoughts on my first journey down to the Epcot International Food & Wine Festival.

A trip I hope will not be me last. What a incredible experience. Some of the biggest surprises were things I had no intention of trying. And ironically probably my least favorite sampling was one that on paper (or at least on menu board) sounded like a home run.

Food & Wine takes place from late September through mid-November. And don't let word “Wine” make you think its some snooty, pinky in the air, spitting in buckets kind of affair. I hit at least a third of all the kiosks set up for the event, and I only had wine once, and believe me I drank every sweet drop. This even is not just for the fancy people who vacation in Sonoma. It is any food lover's fantasy. By the end of the night I was there, I felt like Templeton the fat rat in Charlotte's Web dancing between stalls, eating and drinking and singing the praises of gluttony!

The premise is simple. Epcot erects temporary structures all around World Showcase, each representing a country of its own, in addition to the countries already represented year round. These temporary kiosks by the way look pretty good. We aren't just talking tents or booths. For example Greece really represented the white Greek architecture seen in pictures from Santorini. The same can be said for many of the others. Each country sells a couple tasting-sized samples of beloved National dishes. Still using Greece as an example, they were serving Chicken Souvlaki with Tzatziki (God bless you! Never gets old) as well as griddled Greek cheese with pistachios and honey. Or you could choose the traditional Greek salad with pita bread. And to drink you could choose between a couple different Greek wines.

None of it's free mind you, but prices varied between $3.00 all the way to almost $10 depending on the entree, as you'll see. One nice little tip if you’re on the Disney Dining Plan, you can use a snack credit for most of these entrée samples. That certainly helps on the more expensive ones, as you’ll see. Whereas with the cheaper options, you’re better off holding on to your credits and just paying cash. Sorry, I know I said there’d be no math in this blog!

I told myself I’d make a complete lap around World Showcase and check out every booth before trying anything. Seemed like the prudent thing to do. Get a feel for what I absolutely wanted to try before spending any cash or snack credits. That plan went right out the window pretty quickly. I came upon the Ireland kiosk, right outside of the Rose & Crown Pub in the UK. They were serving something called a Lobster & Scallop Fisherman’s Pie. It sounded good, but it was also pushing 80 degrees in the afternoon sun. A heavy, warm dish like that didn’t seem like a great idea in that environment. Then I saw one.

It looked like a miniature Shepherds pie. Creamy whipped potatoes covers with melted cheese. That alone could easily undo me. Then imaging the chunks of lobster and bay scallops swimming in a delicious sea of sauce underneath. I gave in fast. And thank God. It only took one steaming bite to know it was the right choice to start my eating journey. Right off the bat I got huge hunk of lobster, mixed with potato and sauce. I don’t know exactly what all was in it other than seafood and the tears of angels. All I know is I connected to my Irish ancestors and to the gods of the seas themselves. I confess to questioning the freshness of seafood in landlocked Orlando, but for a Midwestern boy like me the Fisherman's Pie really transported me right to the ocean.

The other highlight of the Ireland booth for me was, aside from pouring Guinness naturally, they were serving Bunraty Meade honey wine. I’ve had Guinness a few (thousand) times before so I opted for another new experience, Meade. I’ve read about Meade in countless English Lit novels. Never had the chance to raise a goblet. It was not what I expected, but my God it was addictive. Very sweet, slightly syrupy, with distinct flavor of honey. I could see sipping on that all evening, bullshitting with old friends and loving life. Although I can imagine not loving the hangover something so sweet must induce. It's not wonder they don't allow Winnie the Pooh to do meet & greets anywhere near this booth!

I traveled on from the Emerald Isle, and soon found myself in front of one of my personal favorite pavilions, Morocco. I've always wanted to eat here on regular trips, but never pulled the trigger. Food & Wine is a great opportunity to take those culinary challenges without betting all your chips. In this case, it was a winner winner Kefta dinner! But don't take my (written) word for it. Check out another one of my horrible Flip videos:

I hope you enjoyed the synth-pop sounds of Jungle Boogie by Mo'Rockin in the background! I kept getting distracted trying to figure out what they were playing. And by working beef out of my teeth!

The next couple stops I made through Food & Wine were hit and miss. The miss was pretty bad. In fact, eating it over a garbage can was not the worst part. It may have actually helped. Thank God, the hit I discovered shortly after was a total all-American slam dunk!

(Apologies to L.L. Bean. I think I was still bitter about that Beef Rendang in Singapore. No need for you to catch shrapnel. I'm sure your clothes are wonderful.)

By mid-afternoon I needed a break from all this eating. I had a little wine in Germany, although I was disappointed they weren't pouring my favorite Gewürztraminer. So I hopped a Friendship boat over to Disney's Boardwalk and spent a couple hours at the ESPN Club. Made friends with the dj and discovered my new favorite cocktail on property, the Tee-Off. And I'm not even a golfer. Go figure.

When I got back into Epcot the sun had set (so maybe I had a few Tee-Off's!) I made a stop in Norway and faced down some trolls on the Maelstrom. Then it was time for one of my favorite pavilions for eating, Mexico.

The special Food & Wine offering from Mexico this year was choice between a grilled shrimp or ribeye taco. I have never been one to pass up a good taco. Sadly, I've seldom passed up a taco period. Along with the food offerings they were serving a special strawberry lime margarita. I hadn't thought I was hungry, but I suddenly I found room.

When I got through the line with my grilled ribeye taco and margarita I glanced around for someplace to eat. That's the one challenge of Food & Wine. Far less table space than people. If you're with a group that could surely cause an issue. Fortunately I was alone, and I'm not proud. As I said before, I ate the spicy sewer rat meat from Singapore over a trash can. A kindly middle-age man and his wife stopped me and asked how the bright red margarita with a lime on the edge was. I hadn't even tried it yet, so I obliged them by taking a sip. My first reaction, and what I immediately answered: strong!

I should have just gotten the margarita and a plate of tacos from San Angel. The grilled ribeye taco was real disappointment. It was a few strips of lightly marinated (as in barely at all) beef with chipotle pepper sauce and scallions wrapped in a tortilla. It was dry and nearly flavorless. Even a little lettuce would have helped this sad little taco.

When I was in line waiting for my taco I thought to myself if it was good, I'd go through again and order the grilled shrimp taco so I could really try everything special Mexico was offering at Food & Wine. After this limp little excuse that didn't even measure up to Taco Bell's $.99 cent selections, I decided not to bother.

At that point it was getting late, and I felt like I'd sampled some of the best and unfortunately some of the worst of what the International Food & Wine Festival had to offer. And my Size-13 dogs were starting bark. I began the walk back towards the front gate and my Pop Century shuttle waiting to take me back to my nice warm hotel bed. Just before I turned down that walkway, I happened to catch the Hawaii stand out of the corner of my eye. Hawaii, I thought? I remembered seeing somewhere that they were serving a pulled pork slider.

Normally three melodic words that would have made it my first stop. However there was something about their menu offering that just hadn't sounded quite so appetizing, which was why I'd avoided it til now. What the hell, I figured? Let's burn one more snack credit (who needs another Mickey Mouse ice cream bar anyway, right? Well, this guy right here does, obviously, but just go with me for the sake of the story!)

There was little line as most of the guests in the park were crowding around the lagoon for the Illuminations, which was about to begin. I ordered my Kalua Pork Slider with Sweet & Sour Dole Pineapple Chutney and Spicy Mayonnaise.

The name was what had initially thrown me off what normally would have been a no-brainer. When I'd heard the name Kalua, I thought they were talking about that syrupy liquor that people like in coffee and mudslides. That didn't sound like something I'd enjoy on a sandwich. In a bathtub, sure, but never on my pig!

Fortunately this Kalua was only a name, and had a far less H's. Even more fortuitous (it's a word) this Kalua pork slider was simply AMAZING!!!

It was literally like an explosion of different flavors and textures and spice. Like a flavor symphony. No, in fact this was a flavor rock concert. The pork was that strong, steady bass line. The poek was simply the drums or the baseline, keeping the time and a steady backbeat. The sweet & sour pineapple represented the keyboards. And then that spicy mayo which was Jimmy Hendrix meets Keith Richards meets Zach Wylde all just shredding their loudest licks just spread it's wings right over my taste buds. It was definitely unlike any pulled pork I've ever tasted. If it means I have to paddle a longboat all the way to Honolulu to taste it again, I just might.

I have been to Hawaii. My big question is how come they're not handing these babies out the minute you step off the plane, instead of those silly flower necklaces?! Oh that's right, because they know fat guys like me would never leave, and that would not look good on a tourism brochure! My look hasn't been considered hot in Hawaii since King Kamehameha.

That Hawaiian pork slider was the perfect cap to the evening, and a nice little exclamation point on my Food & Wine experience.

I have always found the early fall to be my favorite time of year to head down to the World. Between the Fisherman’s Pie, the Lobster Roll, and that Kalua slider, I’ve got at least 3 solid reasons to start pushing my trips back a month or so. And like everything at Walt Disney World, the International Food & Wine Festival is always changing.

The old standby booths are constantly switching their menu offerings, and new countries and booths appear every year. It’s can be a different experience every time you go, whether that means yearly, or a couple times in one week. There’s only really one negative thing I can say about Food & Wine, and it’s not the beef in Singapore or the bland taco in Mexico. Even the food samplings I tried that were not great were at the very least interesting.

No, my criticism of the Food & Wine Fest is that it that there’s no reason to eat in any of the amazing restaurants throughout World Showcase. That’s why you need Park Hopper tickets. Spend your Epcot day walking around Food & Wine sampling new foods, and then come back a few times throughout your trip to have dinner in some of the countries. That way you get the full culinary experience of Epcot!