Int'l Food & Wine Fest Tips: Eat This, Not That!

As Epcot's International Food & Wine festival gets underway, I thought since I can't be there personally this year, I'd share a few highlights of my culinary adventure last year.  Bon Appetite!  

I started to the right and came upon the Ireland booth near the Rose & Crown Pub.  They were serving something called Lobster & Scallop Fisherman’s Pie.  Sounded good, but a heavy creamy dish in the 80+ degree Florida sun?  Then I saw one.  It looked like a delicious little cloud of goodness.  Creamy whipped potatoes covered in melted cheese.  That alone could easily undo me.  Imagining chunks of lobster and scallops swimming in a delicious sea of sauce underneath was more than I could resist.  And thank Guinness!  It only took one steaming bite to know it was the right choice to start my eating adventure.  Right off the bat I got a huge hunk of lobster, mixed with whipped potato and sauce.  I felt connected to my Irish ancestors and to the sea gods themselves.  This was comfort food from an ancient home.  It was going to be hard for anything to live up to this first sample.  

 A Heavenly cloud of goodness! 

Ireland was pouring Guinness naturally, but also Bunraty Meade honey wine.  I’ve had Guinness a few (thousand) times before so I opted for the Meade.  I’d heard about Meade in Robin Hood and Game of Thrones, but never had the opportunity to raise a goblet.  Not what I expected, but very addictive.  It was sweet, slightly syrupy, with a distinct flavor of honey.  I could see sipping on that all evening, bullshitting with family & friends like old Irishmen.  Although I can also imagine the rockin’ hangover something that sweet can produce.   

 

"Keep away from yellow bears in tight red t-shirts!"

Morocco was serving my favorite Casa beer, and it was actually a little cheaper than in the pavilion.  While waiting, I thought of how often I’d considered trying Moroccan food.  This seemed like a good way to dip a toe in the water without committing to a full meal.  I ordered a Kefta pocket.  Seasoned ground beef in a pita.  How bad could it be, right? 

Turned out not bad at all!  It was like a thicker burger flavored with foreign and delicious seasonings served in a pita along with a kind of Moroccan cole slaw.  When eaten all together, it was one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth.  And I have had a lot of strange things in my mouth!  (What?!?)  

Make sure you eat it all together.  The slaw can bunch up at the bottom and you lose that complete flavor!  

I nearly walked right past a small sign that read Singapore.  I know Singapore’s most famous beverage, but one thing I didn’t know was what they ate with it.  I read over the menu and the words “coconut braised beef” caught my eyes.  My mouth began watering.     

Normally you say “coconut braised” anything I grab my fork.  Coconut braise a flip-flop and I'll be licking my chops.  Okay, that's a lie.  I'm actually wondering if the coconut braised Beef Rendang was formerly footwear.  I voraciously shoveled the first steamy bite into my mouth, and was immediately overwhelmed by this strange, un-beef like flavor.  It almost tasted like plastic or melted crayon.  I would have been better off eating the fork.  
To make matters worse, while it lacked in any enjoyable flavor, it over-compensated with spices.  The heat wave started traveling over my tongue and across the roof of my mouth like it was practicing Parkour. 

The hot mess on a plate was also actually hot!  The jasmine rice served alongside was hard and crunchy, like it had been sitting out too long. 

I still ate it.  Every bite.  Even though I hated the taste, like Stockholm syndrome I started to accept the heat, and in some masochistic way enjoy it.  More than anything, I finished my plate simply because I had paid for it.  I hate wasting money (and food!)  Throwing it away would be a double insult.  Appropriately, I ate it hunched over a garbage can.

 

 Take special note that it looks as if it was already eaten once.  Should've been a red flag!

Along with a helluva lot of Sam Adams beer, America was serving something called Linda Bean's Perfect Maine Lobster Roll.  I had no idea who Linda Bean was, but I do love me some lobster sir.  However I'd always heard of this New England staple as a hotdog roll loaded with a jar of mayonnaise and flake or two of lobster meat.  I caught sight of another guy's sandwich and I was stunned.  I saw hunks of lobster meat bigger than a baby's foot.  What I didn't see was mayo splooshing down his chin.  I decided it was time to introduce my pallet to this New England favorite. 

I was also stunned by this perfect roll’s cost $7.25.  The lobster roll was literally half a hotdog bun.  Still, I had to try it and snack credits were accepted.  Having taken advantage of Free Dining from Disney, I got my seven dollar snack for free.  One bite in, I would have gladly handed over a twenty spot.  I know that seems unlikely, but trust me.  The first bite made my eyes roll back into my head like a shark with a fat seal.  Fresh, thick lobster meat, just a touch of mayo, oil and light spices and herbs.  I had to sit down.  This was possibly the greatest sandwich I'd ever tasted.  

Admittedly being from the Midwest, I had no basis for comparison.  Lobsters haven't quite crawled their way to the Great Lakes.  They billed this as the “Perfect Lobster Roll” and I couldn’t possibly argue. 

I would have paid them fourteen bucks for a full-sized roll.  The last bite brought a tear of loss to my eye.  Seafood separation anxiety!  

 

I'm gonna cry!  Talk amongst yourselves . . . 

I found myself back at the ancient Mayan temple of Mexico.  The special festival offering was a choice between grilled shrimp or ribeye tacos.  I have never been one to pass up a good taco.  Actually, I've never passed up a taco period.  Along with food they were serving a strawberry lime margarita. 

The line moved fast and with my grilled rib eye taco and margarita in hand, I glanced around for someplace to eat.  That's one major challenge of Food & Wine.  Far less table space than people usually.  If you're with a group that could cause an issue.  Fortunately I was alone.  I'm also not proud.  As I said, I ate the spicy sewer rat from Singapore over a trash can.  A kindly middle-age man and his wife stopped me and asked how the margarita tasted.  I hadn't even tried it yet, so I obliged them by taking a sip.  My immediate reaction spilled out of my mouth: strong!  Seemed I hit the tequila pocket on my first attempt.  Shortly after the strawberry and subtle mint caught up once the initial alcoholic mushroom cloud passed and it was quite tasty. 

The gentleman chuckled and said “that's just how I like 'em!”  I laughed and carried on in search for a little out of the way spot to eat my taco.  Incidentally, that's how I like 'em too!  

I found space near the condiment counter of the San Angel Inn.  Back in the day what stood in its place was little more than a glorified churro stand with margaritas.  That and it used to be one of the best spots in Epcot to watch Illuminations.  I wasn't stopping to watch fireworks.  I had a prime beef taco to eat. 

I should have just gotten a plate of tacos from San Angel.  The grilled rib eye taco was a real disappointment.  A few strips of lightly marinated (as in barely at all) beef with chipotle pepper sauce and scallions wrapped in a flour tortilla.  It was dry and nearly flavorless.  Even a little lettuce would have helped this sad little taco.  When I was in line I thought if it was good, I'd go through again and order the grilled shrimp taco.  Then I could say I’d tried everything Mexico was offering at Food & Wine.  After this limp excuse that didn't even measure up to the $.99 cent selections at Taco Bell, I decided not to bother. 

Warning: This boring-ass taco is likely to cause siesta!   

Out of the corner of my eye, the Hawaii hut appeared.  They were serving a pulled pork slider.  Normally three melodic words that would have made it my first stop.  However there was something that just hadn't sounded quite so appetizing when I’d read it on the map.  What the hell, I figured?  Let's burn one more snack credit!  Who needs another Mickey Mouse ice cream bar anyway, right?  Well, this guy right here does, obviously, but just go with me (for the sake of the story!) 

There was no line.  Most guests were crowding around the lagoon for Illuminations.  I ordered my Kalua Pork Slider with Sweet & Sour Dole Pineapple Chutney and Spicy Mayonnaise.  That's what had initially thrown me, the name Kalua!  I thought they were talking about that syrupy liquor people pour in coffee (and mudslides!)  That didn't sound like something I'd enjoy on a sandwich.  In a kiddy pool with a straw, sure, but never on my pig!  Fortunately this Kalua had a few less H's.  Even more fortuitous (it's a word) this Kalua slider was simply AMAZING!!!  
An explosion of flavor rocked my mouth!  The pork was tender.  The sweet & sour pineapple relish had a zing.  And that spicy mayo perfectly balanced it out and added a kickin’ flavor without just being hot!  It was definitely unlike any pulled pork I've ever tasted.  I would paddle a longboat all the way to Honolulu to taste it again!  
I’ve been to Hawaii.  Why the hell aren’t they handing out  these babies when you step off the plane?  Screw those silly flower necklaces!  Oh right, it’s because fat Haoles like me would never leave, and that would not look good on a tourism brochure!  My look hasn't been considered hot in Polynesia since before Kamehameha!       

You have no idea until you try it!  

That Hawaiian pork slider was the perfect exclamation point on the end of my Food & Wine experience.  Early fall has always been my favorite time to head down to Walt Disney World.  But between the Fisherman’s Pie, the Lobster Roll, and that Kalua slider, I’ve got at least 3 solid reasons to start pushing my trips back a month or so! 

Seriously, this event is worth altering your travel plans!

Food & Whine!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Yes, I am breaking into song.  No, it's not Christmas time, even if Target secretly has some decorations out behind the Halloween stuff!

I'm talking about the International Food & Wine Festival at Epcot!  I was able to attend for the first time last year and it was, as the kids say, AMAZEBALLS!
Like a shark in a feeding frenzy I desperately swam from booth to booth sampling amazing (and okay, a few not so great) food samples.

I thought about posting some of my favorites from last year, as well as some that I'd caution you to avoid, should you be heading to F&W this year.  I promise I will.
But it occurred to me to share another WDW food related story today.  Think of it as a cautionary tale, as this particular eatery stands year round.  Though if we're lucky, maybe one of these days they'll roll the big ball right out of Downtown Disney in favor of something a bit more favorable and exciting.

Enjoy another excerpt torn right out of my upcoming book . . .

My second night in town, I was heading to Downtown Disney to pick up a little something for my wife and kids so it seemed the perfect night to score my cheap meal at Planet Hollywood.  That afternoon I'd had a couple beers at the hotel, took a combat nap, and grabbed a quick shower before heading out.  It was already coming on 7:00 by time I found myself approaching the first host stand at Planet Hollywood. Planet Hollywood isn't hard to find. It's literally a giant globe rising over the rest of Downtown Disney with the words Planet Hollywood in bright red lights.  You really can’t miss it.  You'll want to though. 

"Do NOT get sucked up this tube!"

I encountered two younger spiky haired employees with clipboards and radios as I walked up to see if I needed to put my name on a list.  They gave me an askew glance when I said it was just me.  They told me to head on up the stairs (the restaurant is actually in the middle of the giant globe so there's a metal staircase to climb - another reason you'd have to be really hungry to eat here.)  At the top of the stairs was another gaggle of hip, punky whippersnappers wearing Planet Hollywood gear.  A little portly dude with slick black hair (and I'm pretty sure eyeliner) wearing a far too tight black t-shirt asked me how many were in my party.  Again I said "just one."  And again I got that strange look like I'd just peed on someone's shoes. He followed it with a roll of the eyes and a faint noise like steam escaping.  The area outside the entrance looks like a red carpet event in Hollywood.  There was also really loud club music pumping overhead like we were about to enter some L.A. hotspot.  Me, with my graying beard and man-purse (yeah that's right) clearly didn't fit their definition of "cool clientele."  You could cut the attitude I was catching from these community college dropouts with a chainsaw (hmm, give one an idea.)  If everything in Walt Disney World tells a story, but Planet Hollywood’s story belong in a trashy tabloid magazine my wife leaves in the john. It was starting to piss me off.  If these B-roll reality stars didn't cool it and show me just a little respect as a customer (with a coupon) the story wasn't going to have a happy ending. Although they might end up on TV!

I was told to go inside and prepare for my third check-in / wait.  Fortunately, being a table of one, I was ushered through pretty quickly and taken to a small two-top wedged in among a row of them.  I was sitting under Jim Carrey's bike from The Truman Show.  The thumping, bumping house music was even louder and nearly intolerable inside.  It became quickly apparent that Planet Hollywood, at least this particular location was suffering from an identity crisis.  It was a movie themed restaurant that wanted to be a cool and trendy nightspot.  

My waitress did appear quickly and was friendly which is a plus - and believe me I was already keeping score – although she did give me that “oh you poor thing, eating all alone” voice a few times.  She pointed out some specialty drinks and my eyes zeroed-in on a margarita-like concoction called the Iron Man.  My head was spinning from the music so I quickly said go ahead and bring me one of those. After all, it was called an Iron Man!  I flipped through the menu while waiting for my drink.  It was basically the same selections as a T.G.I. Fridays, with the exception that everything cost roughly twice as much. 

The more I explored my options the more I realized that $15.00 credit would be but a drop in the ol’ bucket. Hell, it would barely cover the two drinks I'd end up having.  Still, I was bored with burgers (the cheapest item on the menu, besides a side salad) and wanted to get something unique that represented their menu.  After all, the place might have been extremely loud and tacky with more than an air of undeserved pretension (damn I should be a writer) but if the food was good, at least they’d earn some of their attitude.  Unfortunately nothing was grabbing me.  

Planet Hollywood claims they're famous for their lasagna.  I think infamous might be a more appropriate choice of wording.  It’s true their lasagna is like no other I've ever seen, but that's not exactly a compliment.  They use this strange cylindrical noodle/shell creation, stuff it with all the lasagna ingredients and serve the tubes standing straight up on their ends.  It might be one of the strangest entrees I've ever seen.  However I will say if I were directing a sci-fi movie set on some distant planet, I might use their lasagna as the model for an alien city!  

"Spock, there's no intelligent life behind this lasagna!"

The waitress tried pushing their signature lasagna-wannabe on me, but I was not interested.  I finally shot for the middle and ordered fajitas.  It felt like a strange choice, but again, didn't want another burger but wasn't going with one of their weird Hollywood concoctions.  Plus, you really can’t screw up fajitas, can you?  Honestly, their fajitas were just, uh, fajita-y. Weakly seasoned strips of steak and chicken and grilled peppers and onion. Not horrible, but not exactly exciting either. What the kids call (shrugging shoulders) “meh.”

By the time I was finished the place was actually packed which surprised me on a Thursday night.  My head was throbbing and not from the limp Iron Man cocktails as it should have been!  It was time to make my escape.  When the bill came that $15.00 voucher covered exactly half.  I guess I shouldn't complain, except that I was by myself.  Thirty bucks for one person!  There were big families in there.  I can't imagine what they were going to be paying for their mediocre meals and irritating ambiance.  Especially when half the

movie memorabilia was virtually unrecognizable! I wouldn't say it had been the worst dining experience of my life, but it was disappointing.  I could have gone to a number of the other restaurants in Downtown Disney and for $30 bucks (or less) had a much more satisfying experience.  As they say, you get what you pay for.

After settling up I headed toward the exit, then realized my business with Planet Hollywood was not finished yet. I had one more voucher and Planet Hollywood had one more shot at a favorable review. Along with the dining credit there was a coupon for a free souvenir at the Planet Hollywood gift shop. I like most guys like to get something for free. Maybe even a little more. I'm somewhere between picker and hoarder. Whatever, free is free!  So I sauntered up to the gift shop area which was little more than a partition wall with shelves of t-shirts, hats, and mugs all emblazoned with the PH logo. Nothing I was looking to wear, except maybe for sleeping or mowing the lawn (or pumping iron, Arnie-style, of course!)  The girl behind the counter with teased up hair and too much make-up asked if she could help with a big ol' grin.  I whipped out my voucher and asked "what can I do with this?" 

The joy on her face quickly, visibly melted away.  I could read her mind.  Another cheapskate with the coupon. She really wanted to tell me what to do with it!

"You get a keychain," she answered flatly. 

I could see a number of key chains under the glass that looked cool enough.  I can always use a keychain, and if not my kid would love it.  She must have been tracking my gaze.

"It's a special one Planet Hollywood has made for that coupon," she said, revealing a basket full of individually wrapped shiny objects. They looked like fishing lures. "Still want it?"

Again, free is free. I shrugged and took my free gift. She snatched my voucher with a sigh and literally turned away to go talk to other potential customers looking at t-shirts with actual intent to buy.  With one quick glance I could see my new keychain was a joke.  It was about the size of a nickel, maybe a quarter on a good day.  A simple metal Planet Hollywood globe and the PH Orlando logo.  I dropped it in my bag and made my way out.  Not a single "have a nice night" or "thanks for coming."  Just more pounding house music until I quickly escaped down the stairs and away from that horrific sphere.

I spent the rest of the evening milling around Downtown Disney, noting all the restaurants I should have eaten at, coupon or not.  There's great seafood at Fultons Crabhouse or delicious Italian cuisine at Portobello. Hell, I’d have tried the Cuban food in the giant pineapple. Bongo’s Cuban Cafe in Downtown Disney West Side is, much like the home of Mr. Squarepants is shaped like a pineapple. I could've gotten a plate of chorizo & beef skewers (spicy grilled meat on sticks, ya feel me?) and the amazing Argentinian skirt steak at Paradiso 37. Sure it would have cost more than $30 bucks, but I'd have waddled out in a meat induced joyful haze! Eveng oing cheap, I'd have been thrilled with the Holiday sandwich at Earl of Sandwich! It's thanksgiving smashed between bread, right down to the cranberry sauce! 

The list of better options goes on and on. Sure a lot of the restaurants in Downtown are loud and touristy too but the food and the service live up to the hype. Instead I let my wallet make my decision, going against the very rule I keep spouting.

Fortunately I soon found myself sitting outside one Downtown Disney’s best kept secrets, and refuge for all real men, Fuego by Sosa Family Cigars. Pinching a nice, relatively cheap Honduran (anywhere outside of WDW that would mean something entirely different) and a bourbon, the bitter taste of brash, tasteless commercialism was soon washed from my mouth. It faded away into the Florida moonlight with a few puffs of blue smoke.  Of course, that little treat cost me almost as much as my dinner. Yet I didn't bat an eye at the receipt. The difference of course was value. Quality isn’t necessarily cheap, but is almost always worth it.  

You Can Leave Your Hat On!

Heard an interesting rumor today.

No, not that there'll be alcohol in the Magic Kingdom.  That's a fait accompli!

No, not that there gonna build a Cars Land clone in Disney's Hollywood Studios.  That's still just a rumor, for now.  But you are definitely getting warmer.  The rumor that caught my ear today involves DHS.  Particularly, the park's icon.  The somewhat unintentional icon of the park, after the water tower.  What's that?  Oh yeah, there's a water tower at Hollywood Studios.  That's the park's first icon.  No, really, I promise.  There's one there.  Somewhere.

I'm talking of course about the giant Sorcerer Mickey hat in the park's hub.
 

Built in 2001, the big hat is perhaps the most polarizing icon in all of Walt Disney World, next to the days when Spaceship Earth was accompanied by a magic wand.  According to some now, the hat is about to join the wand and glove in the icon scrapyard.

This source claimed that the hat and the Chinese Theater replica are bound for rubble, to be replaced with another clone.  This time, the Carthay Circle Theater will be erected in their place, along with the Red Car trolley.  Just like they opened at Disney's California Adventure's Buena Vista Street this summer. 


Star Wars geeks rise!  The clone wars have begun!!! 

Personally, maybe I'm in the minority, but I love the Sorcerer's Hat.  I don't want to see it go anywhere.  I understand the major complaint; it doesn't fit the theme of area.  It's supposed to be old Hollywood and there's this giant wizard's cap.  And it blocks the Chinese Theater.
Well, I'm told that Disney no longer has the rights to call it Grauman's or use that name in any promotional material hence the reason it's got a date with a wrecking ball (if that's true.)  So by that rationale who cares if you can see it anyway.

Of course if they take down the theater, what does that mean for The Great Movie Ride?  Will they just change the facade (p.s. what becomes of all those celebrity hand prints?)  Oh the questions this rumor brings up!

More importantly, I'd be very surprised to see the hat come down for another reason.  I personally spoke to an Imagineer within the last year specifically about the Sorcerer Hat.  And this person was on Team Hate It.  Even they said to me despite how they felt, that hat has such deep foundations that removing it would be a major construction / demolition project.  I can't imagine park management wants that happening right in the center of the park.  Imagine the chaos.  Not saying it hasn't happened before.  I'd just be really surprised.  Especially when so much merchandise, marketing material, etc already exists in which that hat is the representation of the park.  I think of the whole Four Parks, One World campaign.  The hat features prominently.
 

I have a hard time believe it's going anywhere, but who knows?  I wonder what every one thinks.  Are you pro-hat or anti?  Do you want to see it gone in favor of a Carthay Clone?    

Wine's Being Poured . . .Thank the Lord!!!

For those not in the know, Walt Disney World is in the home stretch to completing the largest expansion in the theme park history, New Fantasyland!
 
This will double the size of that beloved land!  Truthfully, the expansion might as well be called Princess Land as, if you've got boys, it won't have much impact other than getting a few more people out of your way for Peter Pan or Mickey's Philharmagic!  At least until the final piece is built, The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, a late announcement roller coaster, perhaps a bone thrown to us tripods, but what looks like a nice meaty bone at that! 

Inexplicably, the current excitement that has the online Disney fan community trembling with excitement and drooling all over themselves with anticipation (and an insatiable appetite for charcuterie!)  Is it a fast, high-tech ride?  No!  Is it a lights & musical extravaganza show?  No!
I'm talking about Be Our Guest, the restaurant . . . !  Wa wa waaaaaa!!!
 
"You shouldn't have come to the west wing!  It's where I store the good stuff!"

That's right ladies & gentleman.  Everyone has been losing their stuff over another restaurant opening.  But before I get too snarky, Be Our Guest isn't just another restaurant, it's a restaurant with robots!  Oh, robots, why didn't you say so?  I'll happily forgot another gate-buster attraction for a place to eat.  After all, it's not like there's anywhere else to get food in the park . . . ahem. 

Okay, as is probably apparent, I'm not exactly stoked about Be Our Guest.  It's not that I don't like it.  I just don't care.  I sincerely don't understand how crazed fans are for a restaurant.  I was baffled when a few weeks ago Disney started taking reservations for the new eatery and Disney fans set their alarms to get up before the sun to pour coffee in their eyes and get to dialing.  And there was great crying and gnashing of teeth that so many couldn't get through! 

But finally, news has filtered out of Fantasyland that might have changed my whole perspective!  In it's entire history, Magic Kingdom has never sold alcoholic beverages.  All three other parks at Walt Disney World serve beer, wine, and liquor . . . generally in controlled environments.  Perhaps not always so controlled in Epcot's World Showcase (again, I'm sorry about that . . . well, those incidents!) 

It's all about to change!  Be Our Guest released their menu, and to make sure they fit that French theme they are going to pour the wine and cut the cheese!!! 
 
"Whoa . . . that gargoyle's wasted!"

Be Our Guest will offer a variety of wines to compliment the food as well as certain regional (i.e. expensive) beers. 
Now they're only going to be served inside the restaurant.  You can't walk up to the window and get a traveler as you can at other parks.  I've spent many an afternoon peacefully wandering about Animal Kingdom with a Safari Amber in hand (and not "getting wasted" or disturbing any other guests.)

Yet still, the moment these words hit the WWWW (World Wide Whacko-Web) the teetotalers and contrarians lost their $#%&!!! 
"This is an outrage!"  "Magic Kingdom should NEVER serve alcohol!"  "Walt is spinning in his grave!!!" 

These are direct quotes I saw online btw.  Let's first address that last and put it to bed right away.  Walt drank.  Deal with it. 
 
Also, ever heard of Club 33?  The private restaurant hidden in Disneyland?  It serves alcohol.  Has since Walt opened it (and drank there) himself. 
So Uncle Walt is still resting peacefully with this decision, even if you're not. 

Second concern:  People will be getting wasted and causing problems in the park.  I agree in the other parks there are abuses.  The parks need to take control of those situation quickly, swiftly removing the bad apples!  Or at least offering them a free bottle of water and place to sit for a few.  But those are probably people who have a problem anyway, and as I saw written online, most of the bad interactions with drunks were with drunks who snuck in their own alcohol in resort mugs, etc.  That's security's fault.  If they can't stop it, they can't stop it.  Shouldn't affect my dining experience.   
And more importantly, they're only serving in the restaurant with meals.  And as I've said before, that joint will be turning tables over faster than the Mad Hatter and the March Hare!  You'll be lucky to order a second beer before they're shoving you out the door for the next sitting.  Unless it's your first beer and you weigh 75 lbs, it's scientifically impossible to get "wasted."  I promise you whatever alcohol is imbibed inside will be sweated out before you can walk to Splash Mountain. 

So we come to the final reason I believe most are upset by the introduction of "booze" in Magic Kingdom.  You have a personal and more likely MORAL objection to drinking.  Well, all I can say is good for you.  I don't.  I love drinking.  It's celebratory.  It's social.  And when done with self-control and maturity can enhance the enjoyment of many a situation (including reading Disney blogs . . . try it!)  Your personal convictions based on whatever you believe shouldn't affect my experience. 
Walt not only drank, he smoked like a chimney too and there are still smoking sections in the park.  I don't like them (especially the one by Speedway because the exit walkway passes right over it and you must traverse through a cloud of risen cigarette smoke.)

But I realize WDW is for everyone . . . not just me and my personal beliefs!  I don't believe in limiting anyone's enjoyment or freedom for my own convictions (dayum, this is gettin' political!) 

I know this will change no minds.  Those who are against alcohol will dig in.  They'll flood Guest Services with complaints.  They're probably already firing off angry emails and Tweets! They're speed dialing WDW-DINE to raise cane!  Not sugar cane of course because that could lead to the production of rum!

Oh, speaking of rum and moral convictions.  If you feel so strongly against drinking alcohol, you should be against it not just in the specific but in all representations.  And therefore you shouldn't come to Walt Disney World anyway.  Let's see, what is almost EVERY pirate on Pirates of the Caribbean drinking?  Kool-Aid?  Crystal Lite?  What does that beautiful honey-colored bear singing when she lowers from the ceiling in Country Bears?  "Tears will be the chaser in my WINE tonight?"  And she's holding her Chardonnay as she swings?  I'm quite impressed that she never spills since drinking clearly "always" gets you "wasted."    
 
Alright, I was really trying not to get snarky, but I'm losing restraint.  Just wanted to throw some thoughts out there.  The alcohol is there now.  It's an option.  Nobody is going to force you to drink.  So put on your big boy and big girl pants and ignore it.  Don't make a big deal.  It's up the management to control it, just like in every other restaurant where the staff is within their rights to cut anyone off.  If they don't, it's their liability.

Just strap on your ears and go about your fun! 

As will I! 


*hiccup*

The Worst and Best Anniversary

 
Today is September 11th.  It's 11 years since the horrific morning that this date was forever changed in all of our hearts & minds, as well as our history books.

Today, as every September 11th the last decade, I heard people asking what were you doing?  Do you remember where you were when you first heard? 

I do.  Vividly.  I was making my daily 1 hour & 15 minute drive to work in Northbrook, Illinois, for a company headquartered in the World Trade Center.  Our CEO had gone in early and decided to run out for a cup of coffee and bagel from a deli he liked across the street.   

My coworker directly behind me had a daughter working in the financial district of Manhattan.  Thankfully, she was going in late that day.

I remember every detail of that day.

Sometimes I picture very specific things I watched unfold on television or online, and I'm just completely overcome with sadness and grief and even anger.  Things I never want to picture again, let alone have to consider my options in such a nightmarish scenario.
I cannot imagine how the families who actually lost loved ones feel, not just on this day, but every day.  It's heartbreaking every time I consider it.  

But today someone asked if I remembered the first anniversary of 9/11.

Ah, that I remember as well.  And thankfully, I remember every detail of that day, September 11, 2002.



The only way to cope with terrible things is to scrape out whatever joy you can manage.
Where was I that day?  Did we do anything to commemorate that first horrible anniversary?

I was standing about a hundred feet outside of Dinosaur, as Disney's Animal Kingdom and all of Walt Disney World, along with the whole country paused to observe a moment of silence and a message from our President.  

This was the first time I'd ever visited Animal Kingdom.  It was the first time I'd been back to Walt Disney World in a decade.  And it was the day I rediscovered how much that whole place meant to me, and how important . . . no, how necessary it is.

As you can imagine, the park was pretty empty.  Normally I'd have rejoiced at 5 minute wait times on every attraction.  Even after such a long absence, I knew this was not normal at Walt Disney World.  And I knew why.  I held my wife's hand and looked around at the few guests around us, and the Cast Members who had stopped whatever they were doing as well.  There were hugs and tears and lots of hand-holding that day.  The wounds were still fresh for all of us.  Even in this happy place, we had to acknowledge it.

But there was definitely a healing presence.  A spiritual balm.  I can't imagine many other places in the world that could be so soothing to the soul on such an occasion.  And this is in no way to make light of the events of 9/11/01.  I wish I could somehow bottle the feelings I'm describing and give them to the families, the children, the spouses of those lost as some form of comfort.  I wish I were rich enough to take each and every one of them there.  It wouldn't take away the pain, but it might help. 

It's well documented now how much I love Disney's Animal Kingdom.  It's home to some of my favorite attractions.  I love the atmosphere.  I love the sights.  I love the sounds and the smells.  (I also love the ribs!) 

But there's still something more.  Something esoteric.
This is now to be a day not only of tribute, but of reflection.  I wish we could all look back on that day, not just 11 but 10 years ago.  How much we loved our fellow man.  How we were a country, a people, united.  Bonds we'd long ago forgotten, or perhaps never even had, were forged anew.  There were no strangers in the streets of America.  We stood in the face of terrorism meant to bring us to our knees stronger, as brothers and sisters, letting them know we will not be torn asunder!

That was the greatest tribute we could pay those we lost.  Even greater still if we still felt it.

So on this day of reflection, I am grateful that on the first anniversary of the most inhumane, selfish, blood-thirsty act of savagry ever committed on the planet, I was in a place dedicated to harmony and the understanding and conservation of all life on Earth, including our own.

I want to go back to that place, not just physically, but spiritually.

I want us all to go back there.

Perchance to Dream(find!)

In 1984 I was 9 years old (yikes) when I made my first journey to this mythic place called Walt Disney World.  Two years prior my grandparents had gone down for some grand opening and had brought me back my first Mickey Mouse doll and my brother a colorful commemorative book about some place called EPCOT Center.

While Mickey was and remains my idol, the pictures of that strange & wonderful other park captured my imagination!  Specifically one pavilion . . . Universe of Energy (see what I did there???)  With it's then cutting-edge animatronic dinosaurs, I was chomping at the bit to see it for myself!!!  Little did I know it was to be a different kind of reptile that would change my whole world!

Energy turned out to be at once amazing and terribly boring to this hyperactive 9 year-old!  The dinosaurs did not disappoint, but the film that followed seemed insufferable as a kid and there was no escape until the end.
But there was this other place, this pavilion that looked like pyramids made of prisms . . . the Imagination pavilion . . . that seemed like an intriguing destination.  For this little Midwestern daydreamer, it was in spades.  I had no idea what to expect from Journey Into Imagination, but the moment we rounded that corner and met that jolly bearded fellow in his intricate flying contraption (no not that one . . . this guy's beard was red) I was all in!  That "guy" was The Dreamfinder, the host of the attraction and creator of the park's first iconic character Figment, the childlike purple dragon.
  Later we would meet them live and in the flesh, and, uh, scales, strolling around the pavilion.  Well, meet is a strong word.  I saw them a few feet away, that is, before ducking behind my dad's legs.  Even at 9 I was a little uncertain about the whole "strolling character" thing.
It's very likely that Dreamfinder I saw walking about, interacting with guests was the man who originally brought life to the characters, Ron Schneider.  Ron was the first live Dreamfinder (not counting a couple stand-in's, including Imagineer-extraordinaire Joe Rohde.)  Put it this way, Ron was the first who could put Dreamfinder on a tax-return!
What I didn't know is how much more Ron had done for the theme park and live entertainment industry.  Now he's written a book chronicling a long, creative career in amusement!

"What do you mean you don't own this yet?!?!"  

From Dreamer to Dreamfinder: A Life and Lessons Learned in 40 Years Behind a Name Tag is a riveting, entertaining tale of Ron's path from drama school to Disneyland to Magic Mountain . . . back to Disneyland and across the country to this little upstart enterprise called Walt Disney World and EPCOT Center. 

After hearing an interview Ron did on the WDW News Today podcast this summer, I knew the book would be interesting as a Disney fan.  But I was blown away by Ron's storytelling and the fascinating career journey he's been on since the 70's.  Ron has an insight into live entertainment, improv, and theme parks like I've never heard anyone else discuss (other than the voices my own head.)  As a Disney theme park devotee, and also as a former performer who sold out, went corporate, and lives with the frustration every day, Ron is now my hero.  He had the talent and the courage to pursue an unconventional career, and it has worked out.
You will be amazed, you'll laugh, you will even get at least a tad misty here and there (the passage about Major particularly hit me.)  And of course, you'll get a peak behind the curtain to see not only this particular wizard, but get to meet many of the wizards that have made the magic work over the years.  

What I find most amazing (and borderline criminal) is that Disney or some other theme park hasn't placed him in some high position permanently, dreaming and directing creative endeavors.  I hope after this book, they will have the sense to do so.  As Ron's book points out over and over, the disconnects that often happen between the business side and the creative side are frustrating yet seemingly unavoidable.  It is inevitable, as those who are good with business and money tend to lack any artistic vision.  They see imagination as a waste of resources and therefore unprofitable, even in places where flights of fancy are what built the Kingdom . . . err, empire!
In college, I remember meeting privately with the Head of the Business Department (I wasn't doing so hot in the business class we were required to take) who looked on me with a bemused yet confused grin as I told him I wanted to perform and tell stories for a living one day, not understanding a word I said!  He had once been a high-ranking executive with Sears.  There were no margins or spreadsheets in my dreams and therefore I guess no cash value.  Ironically that business professional looked at me much the way Dreamfinder would look playfully on children in the park!

Since his days capturing imaginations and creating dreams with the purple dragon at his side, Ron helped open Universal Studios Florida, spent time working for another mouse, Chuck E. Cheese (don't judge - I'd write for even that mouse over sitting in a cubicle any day!) and was an integral creative figure in the creation of Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor!
  I'd take it as a sign of truly respected talent (whether they'll say it out loud or not) that his participation and contributions have been so invaluable that the Mouse House has to keep bringing him back!
And after reading Ron's book, I can only believe the best is still yet to come.    

If you call yourself any kind of Walt Disney World or theme park fan, you must purchase From Dreamer to Dreamfinder immediately.  Get thee to Amazon at once!  Or better yet, check out Ron's website http://dreemfinder.wordpress.com/

Thank you for your years of service to all of our imaginations, Ron Schneider!  They may have made some (inexplicable) alterations to the attraction, but thanks to you Dreamfinder remains eternal!

Don't believe me, ask anyone in attendance at Destination D last year!
 

Rest In Peace Brother (Bear!)

This week, the great character actor Michael Clarke Duncan will be laid to rest at the far-too-young age of 54.

As an actor I respected and enjoyed, I couldn't let him go without just posting a brief tribute.  M.C.D. was an imposing figure, but he was also said to be a sweetheart and it was very rare to see him not smiling and exuding joy and positivity!

But this is a Disney blog.  Why post a tribute to another actor on a Disney specific site?  Good question.

I could say because Duncan burst on the scene with his standout role in Armageddon produced by Touchstone Pictures, a division of this small entertainment company you may have heard of called Walt Disney Motion Pictures.

 
Interestingly enough, he played "Bear" the gentle-giant godfather to Liv Tyler.  

He followed up Armageddon with hits like The Whole Nine Yards and his Oscar nominated turn in The Green Mile.

Duncan's voice was instantly recognizable and unforgettable.  It may have been his most sought after characteristic, beyond his Titan-like physique.  He did voice acting for Disney on shows like The Proud Family, Kim Possible, George of the Jungle 2 (hey a guys gotta earn), and Air Buddies.

But perhaps his greatest Disney credit was his cameo on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody!

Okay, not really, although he did appear on the show!  Duncan's booming voice and growl filled the role of Tug, the gruff but lovable leader of the bears in Disney's animated feature Brother Bear.
He would reprise the role in the direct-to-video sequel, Brother Bear 2.

While I couldn't find a decent clip of the movie, I did find this test footage featuring his voice work.

I felt it important to post one last goodbye to a member of the Disney family!  Another great performer has left us too soon.

Farewell Michael.  See you on the other side! 



 
Michael Clarke Duncan
Dec. 10, 1957 - Sept. 3, 2012

                                                            Welcome home, Michael! 

The TTC: The Greatest Argument for Staying ON Property!

When it comes to doing Disney World properly, the first rule of Fight Club is always "stay on property!"
There is no place on said property where that rule rings so glaringly true as when visiting Magic Kingdom.

When you look at a map of Magic Kingdom you will see the park property sits by large body of water called Seven Seas Lagoon.

If you're staying at a Disney hotel, the shuttle will drop you off just a short walk from the park gates. Your only encounter with that water will be walking past it to go inside. However if for some unimaginable reason you choose to stay in some random off-property resort you will become well acquainted with this lovely lagoon. Even if they offer you free shuttle service to the parks, when it comes to Magic Kingdom, all non-resort guests get dropped off at the same place. Waaaaay over there on the opposite side of the lake.

You'll see a large concrete structure in the distance not dissimilar to a parking garage or elevated train stop. It might as well look like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey because it will make you feel like an ape wanting to smash something! 

 That is the Transportation & Ticketing Center or TTC for short. The TTC is where off-property guests line-up for their first Disney ride of the day. Either a monorail ride around or a ferry across the lagoon. Either way, get ready to wait in line. Wait to board either mode to the other side, and then wait some more to get in the park. Not to mention, a lot of stairs. This is vacation, not aerobics! Not a fun way to start your vacation.

I like to call the TTC the Island of Misfit Tourists. It is a confused and crowded labyrinth of crushed dreams and dampened vacations. You're here to see the mouse, not feel like a laboratory rat. The TTC is the reason I also suggest even if staying on property,when you go to the Magic Kingdom, stay there! Park Hoppers be damned! The only reason to leave is to go back to your hotel. Whether that be for an afternoon swim and a nap, or at the end of the day. Do not, I repeat do NOT attempt to visit any other park! Not even Epcot which has a monorail line. You still have to disembark and reembark at the TTC. Forget it! Trying to get to Disney's Hollywood Studios or Disney's Animal Kingdom from Magic Kingdom is about as enjoyable an experience as being water-boarded. In fact, at least if a twisted way water-boarding could be considered refreshing.

When you step off that ferry to catch a bus to another park, the TTC will make even a valued Disney guest feel like an unwelcome stranger in a strange land. There are arrows directing (allegedly) to the bus stops. I can't prove it, but I believe every other arrow points you in a different direction, just to mess with your head. It's like being in Wonderland. Only the wonder is why you'd ever come back. Even when you've walked for what feels like an arduous mile to find the lot that time forgot where busses pick up and drop off, you must battlie crowds of on-coming mouth breathers from the no-tell motels across Kissimmee.

"This sign says nothing about hunchbacks, Sasquatch, or a bog of eternal stench!"

Like a hobbit amongst trolls, fight past these plastic visor-wearing, burnt-cleavage sporting troglodytes knocking into you, hurling spittle and obscenities as they drag their offspring along (and that's just the men.) Even the state of this lot is decidedly un-Disney. One wonders if they spent extra money to make it look so dilapidated. Broken asphalt, dead foliage, overflowing trashcans. I believe it's a lesson from management to the off-property visitor. This is what saving a few bucks a night has earned you. The TTC is the greatest argument for paying the premium to stay in a Disney resort I've ever experienced.  

"Where you going?  Oh it's one of these directions!"