The TTC: The Greatest Argument for Staying ON Property!

When it comes to doing Disney World properly, the first rule of Fight Club is always "stay on property!"
There is no place on said property where that rule rings so glaringly true as when visiting Magic Kingdom.

When you look at a map of Magic Kingdom you will see the park property sits by large body of water called Seven Seas Lagoon.

If you're staying at a Disney hotel, the shuttle will drop you off just a short walk from the park gates. Your only encounter with that water will be walking past it to go inside. However if for some unimaginable reason you choose to stay in some random off-property resort you will become well acquainted with this lovely lagoon. Even if they offer you free shuttle service to the parks, when it comes to Magic Kingdom, all non-resort guests get dropped off at the same place. Waaaaay over there on the opposite side of the lake.

You'll see a large concrete structure in the distance not dissimilar to a parking garage or elevated train stop. It might as well look like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey because it will make you feel like an ape wanting to smash something! 

 That is the Transportation & Ticketing Center or TTC for short. The TTC is where off-property guests line-up for their first Disney ride of the day. Either a monorail ride around or a ferry across the lagoon. Either way, get ready to wait in line. Wait to board either mode to the other side, and then wait some more to get in the park. Not to mention, a lot of stairs. This is vacation, not aerobics! Not a fun way to start your vacation.

I like to call the TTC the Island of Misfit Tourists. It is a confused and crowded labyrinth of crushed dreams and dampened vacations. You're here to see the mouse, not feel like a laboratory rat. The TTC is the reason I also suggest even if staying on property,when you go to the Magic Kingdom, stay there! Park Hoppers be damned! The only reason to leave is to go back to your hotel. Whether that be for an afternoon swim and a nap, or at the end of the day. Do not, I repeat do NOT attempt to visit any other park! Not even Epcot which has a monorail line. You still have to disembark and reembark at the TTC. Forget it! Trying to get to Disney's Hollywood Studios or Disney's Animal Kingdom from Magic Kingdom is about as enjoyable an experience as being water-boarded. In fact, at least if a twisted way water-boarding could be considered refreshing.

When you step off that ferry to catch a bus to another park, the TTC will make even a valued Disney guest feel like an unwelcome stranger in a strange land. There are arrows directing (allegedly) to the bus stops. I can't prove it, but I believe every other arrow points you in a different direction, just to mess with your head. It's like being in Wonderland. Only the wonder is why you'd ever come back. Even when you've walked for what feels like an arduous mile to find the lot that time forgot where busses pick up and drop off, you must battlie crowds of on-coming mouth breathers from the no-tell motels across Kissimmee.

"This sign says nothing about hunchbacks, Sasquatch, or a bog of eternal stench!"

Like a hobbit amongst trolls, fight past these plastic visor-wearing, burnt-cleavage sporting troglodytes knocking into you, hurling spittle and obscenities as they drag their offspring along (and that's just the men.) Even the state of this lot is decidedly un-Disney. One wonders if they spent extra money to make it look so dilapidated. Broken asphalt, dead foliage, overflowing trashcans. I believe it's a lesson from management to the off-property visitor. This is what saving a few bucks a night has earned you. The TTC is the greatest argument for paying the premium to stay in a Disney resort I've ever experienced.  

"Where you going?  Oh it's one of these directions!"